Ordination Day – Part 12 (Persistent Evil Prequel)

I remained calm in spite of my desire to slam demon waiter’s face against the counter. “I think you are mistaken. Where two or more are gathered in God’s name… well, that’s a church. So, yes, this is a pizzeria, and, for the moment a church. Now, take your hand off my arm.”

Demon waiter released my arm. I went to the register to pay for my pizza. Joe stood at the register trying to hold back a smile. He looked at me and did a little wave of his hand. “Not necessary Father, it’s on the house.” 

I returned the smile. “Thank you, but that’s not necessary.”

Joe continued smiling and doing his little wave. “Si Father, it is on the house. You have a good night.”

“I shook the pizza maker’s hand. “Thank you, Joe. That is very kind.”

Clare was busy drying her hair and clothes with napkins. As she looked at me, I noticed the absence of the dark blotches previously all over her face. She looked different. She looked hopeful. We stepped outside the restaurant together. “Sorry about the water. It’s part of the sacrament of baptism. It symbolizes the washing away of your sins. If you stick with this and come to church and read the bible, you’ll learn all about it.”

She pulled my arm down as she leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “Thanks,” she said. “I’m not sure what the future holds, but for the first time in my life I feel like there may be hope for me.”

“Let me be the first to welcome you to your new life as a Christian.” I took hold of her hand and shook it. “If you come by the friary tomorrow, I’ll have a bible for you as a welcome gift. The Franciscan friary is just three blocks up the street.”

“I’ll do that. Thanks.” She turned, waved, and walked up the street in the opposite direction of the friary.

***

When I arrived at the friary, I stopped at the storage closet and selected one of the bibles. As I closed the closet door, Fr. Manuel greeted me. “How was your pizza?”

“It was great. Maybe next time I’ll try a calzone.”

“Hmm, that sounds good.” He rubbed his stomach. “Maybe, I’ll come with you.”

“Goodnight, Fr. Manuel.”

“Oh, Oliver, with everything going on today, I forgot to congratulate you on your ordination.” He reached out and shook my hand. “Congratulations, you will make a fine priest. We are lucky to have you.” His expression turned serious for a moment. “But you must take extra care with the female members of the congregation, you being such a strapping fellow and all. You must avoid temptation.”

“Thank you, Yes, Sir. I’m excited about what lies ahead.”

Just then, Fr. Wayne stepped into the room. “Oliver, there’s a pretty young woman downstairs who says you have something for her. She says she’s sorry, but she just couldn’t wait.”

###

I hope you enjoyed “Ordination Day.” Order a copy of “Persistent Evil” and follow Fr. Oliver as he confronts evil, unlike anything he could imagine.

Ordination Day – Part 11 (Persistent Evil Prequel)

I could not suppress a smile. “No, it won’t hurt. I’ll have to ask you a few questions and take your confession before I can baptize you. Are you OK with that?”

She nodded. Some of the customers were now bending an ear to listen to what the crazy priest was saying to the pretty young woman.

I looked into her eyes and asked. “Clare, are you sorry for your sins? For things you have done in the past which may have hurt others or otherwise not been acceptable to God?”

She nodded.

“You have to say it with your mouth, Clare.”

She nodded again. “Yes, I am sorry for all the awful shit I’ve done during my wretched life and for everyone I’ve hurt. For the baby I kil…” She began to weep as she spoke. “For the baby I killed.” She continued to sob. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

I traced the sign of the cross on her forehead. Then I realized I did not have water, so I grabbed the glass of water from one of the patrons. “Excuse me,” I said to the man at the nearest table.

“Hey!” 

I traced the sign of the cross on Clare’s forehead. “Your sins are forgiven. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.” As I lifted the glass to pour water over her head. I realized, I did not know her last name.

“What is your last name Clare?”

“McLamb,” she whispered.

I lifted the glass and poured the water on her head. “I claim you for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.”

I put down the glass just as demon waiter rushed up to me and grabbed my arm. “You can’t do that! What do you think this is, a church?”

Ordination Day – Part 10 (Persistent Evil Prequel)

I laughed again and it made her jump. “Sorry, but it sure does sound like that? I never thought of it that way… No, what I’m talking about does not wear off.”

“Sorry, Oliver, but there is no way I’m going to go off the deep end like your crazy Francis and Clare. I like my possessions.”

I chuckled. “That won’t be necessary. A life of self-imposed poverty is not for everyone.”

She looked at me and for a split moment, I thought I caught a glimpse of hope in her eye. “What then? What are you telling me to do?”

“It’s simple, Clare, just two things. It’s almost too simple but I promise you things will get better if you do them.”

“I’m listening.”

“Here, give me your hand.”

Reluctantly, she placed her hand on mine. “Be thankful for what you do have and be open, allow God into your life. That’s all.”

She said nothing for a few moments. I could see tears pooling in her eyes. “I’ve done a lot of crazy shit. If there is a God, He might not be interested in the likes of me.”

“Oh, He’s interested all right. I can promise you that. You and I meeting was no accident.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll have to tell you about it some time. Were you ever baptized as a child?”

She shook her head. “No, my family was not religious.”

“It’s pretty simple and it’s a sacrament that claims you for Christ. It’s an important step in accepting God into your life. When you are ready, I would be happy to do it.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” She looked at her watch, got up from her stool and walked over to the cashier. Before heading out she came back and said, “Do it now.”

“Do what now?” I asked.

“Baptize me. You said it was simple. Go ahead and do it now.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to her request. “Well, typically I would do this at church.”

“I don’t want to wait that long. Do it now.”

“But, I have to…”

“Look, if you don’t do it now. I’ll probably never get around to asking you to do it.”

I sat for a moment then asked her to sit down.

She took her seat again. “Will this hurt?”

Ordination Day – Part 9 (Persistent Evil Prequel)

She turned to me, her piercing green eyes surrounded by the dark blotch all over her face. “Don’t you ever watch the news? People killing each other, idiots running the country, greed, simply trying to survive, men who can’t commit to anything except beer. All the good men are taken, the rest are gay, or unavailable because they’re priests or some such crap. Then there’s the past due rent, stress from all the BS at work, the abortion which you live with every day of your life, the guilt, the feeling of hopelessness and loneliness, the successful sister who has it all and thinks you’re a loser. I can go on. It just makes you want to stuff your face with a calzone followed by a gallon of rocky road ice cream, or better yet, to check out altogether. Today it’s the calzone, tomorrow – who knows.”

I paused and gave her my full attention. “Blessed be You, O God, for having created me.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She asked. 

“One of the reasons I became a priest is because I’ve always been inspired by Francis of Assisi. If he were alive today, he’d be locked up and labeled crazy. He walked away from a life of riches and luxury and embraced a life of poverty and devotion to God. I think he may have been the happiest man on the planet at the time. There were others with wealth who wanted that kind of joy. Some wound up giving all their stuff away, land, money, you name it and joined Francis.”

“Yeah, so, he was crazy. So were those rich guys.”

There was a woman who decided to follow Francis and left everything including a proposal of marriage from a rich man. Her name was Clare. She was an inspiration to many other women of her time and they joined her. She lived in poverty and did manual labor. I do mean poverty. She had nothing. The last thing she uttered before she died was “Blessed be You, O God, for having created me.”

“So, what does that have to do with me? Just because we have the same name doesn’t mean squat, and it certainly doesn’t make me a saint.”

“No, it doesn’t. But aren’t you the least bit curious how someone with absolutely no possessions, no conveniences, no mate, doing manual labor, the subject of constant criticism could be so happy as to utter those words on her deathbed? By comparison, you are wealthy, you can afford the calzone you just ate and a gallon of rocky road ice cream if you wanted it. You have an iPhone, access to wifi, and you probably own some jewelry like the necklace and earrings you’re wearing right now.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess she was crazy too.”

“Yeah, but wouldn’t you want a little bit of that crazy? To feel such utter joy, even with nothing? I wanted that kind of crazy. Don’t you want just a little bit of that feeling? A feeling no one can take from you? 

“Now you sound like a pusher. You’re not trying to sell me drugs are you?”

Ordination Day – Part 8 (Persistent Evil Prequel)

Joe came up to the counter. “What can I get for you?”

“A cheese calzone, please.” After ordering, she fidgeted nervously. She caught me looking at her. 

I gave her a smile. She forced a smile and looked the other way. I noticed the scars on her wrist. “How are the calzones here, any good?” I asked.

She turned her head, surprised by my question. “Yeah, they’re pretty good.”

“I haven’t had a calzone in ages.” I said.

She did not respond.

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” I asked.

Her head whipped around. She looked me over. “Aren’t you a priest or something? You’re not supposed to be hitting on women are you?”

I blushed a bit. “I’m sorry. But, I’m not hitting on you. I was just ordained a priest today, as a matter of fact.”

“Well, fact is ‘Don’t I know you from somewhere?’ is the lamest pickup line in history,” she said. “Besides for all I know, you could be some psycho pretending to be a priest.”

I laughed. It caught her by surprise. 

Joe came to counter with her calzone. 

“Thanks,” she said.

I extended my hand to her. “My name is Fr. Oliver. I’m not a psycho. I promise.”

She shook my hand. “Clare.”

“Nice to meet you, Clare.” 

She blew on her calzone to cool it off a bit before biting into it. “So, what made you become a priest? She looked me over again. “Kind of a waste if you ask me.”

“It’s just something I always wanted to do. It’s a little hard to explain. It became kind of an obsession. I just had to do it.”

She took a bite of her calzone. “You’re a psycho. You gave up sex.” She said as she chewed her food.

“Sometimes you have to give up something to get what you really want. For me, it was to become a priest.”

She shook her head. “Whatever. I couldn’t do it.”

“I know, you couldn’t even if you wanted to. They don’t allow women to become priest.”

“That’s bullshit,” she said. “Was that a God thing, or did some frustrated old fart make up that stupid rule?”

I laughed again at her response which made her smile. “It’s complicated,” I said. “But that’s the way it is. In my heart, I don’t believe it was a God thing. Your old fart theory might merit further investigation.” 

“I don’t believe in God anyway,” she said, as she took a sip of her soda. “No offense, I just don’t think a God would let so much bad crap happen if he really existed.”

“What kind of bad crap are you talking about?”  I asked.

Ordination Day – Part 7 (Persistent Evil Prequel)

As I entered the pizzeria, I picked up one of the free newspapers from the stand and pretended to read it. I was really checking the place out to see if any of the people who were preparing pizza’s had demon heads. None. That was good, I did not want to eat a pizza prepared by a demon. Sounds crazy now that I think about it. Everyone in the pizza restaurant had blotches, some faint, others very dark and pronounced. The only one with a demon head was the waiter who spotted me and came up to me.

“You want to sit at a table?” He recognized me from earlier. “Hey, you were in here before with your buddies. Are you OK? What was it you saw when you looked at me? I heard you ask your friends if they noticed anything strange about me.”

I was extremely difficult to look into his demon eyes as his face shifted from demon to human and back to demon, and not react like I had earlier. I smiled and folded my paper. “I’m sorry, I had a bit of a panic attack earlier. I’m overdue for an eye exam and kept seeing spots all day. I’m feeling better now, seeing things as they really are.”

“Cool man, OK. Say, if you ever need anything to help with panic attacks or anything at all. You come see me.” He leaned in close as though we were now best buddies. “I’ve got some good shit. It’ll blow your mind.” He winked. I saw his demon mouth drool. 

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

“So, you gonna sit at the counter? Joe will take care of you.” He pointed at the man taking a pizza out of the oven.”

“Thanks.” I took my seat at the counter and looked around. Demon waiter buzzed about the place serving patrons at the tables. 

Joe came up to the counter. “What can I get you?” 

“Two slices of pepperoni please and a coke,” I replied.

Joe took the stub of a pencil which he kept tucked behind the top of his right ear and wrote my order on a small sheet of green receipt paper. Then he put it on the narrow counter behind him with the other order tickets.  Five minutes later, he placed two hot slices of pepperoni pizza and a coke in front of me. “Thanks!” I said.

He nodded and got back to his pizza making.

Half-way through my first slice, a man and a woman entered the restaurant. The man had a demonic head and the woman had blotches on her face. They took their seats at one of the tables. Another customer entered a minute later. She took a seat at the counter next to me.  Even with the blotches on her face, I recognized her as the young woman from my dream. Her face and outstretched hand were emblazoned on my mind.