by Diogenes Ruiz | Apr 14, 2018 | Books, Excerpt, Prequel
“I think it is time for an eye exam. I’m not seeing spots anymore, perhaps a bit of nervous energy after ordination. But I assure you, I’m fine.”
The provincial nodded. “Let me ask you this Oliver. Would you like to take a few weeks off to think about this and clear your head? I think it would be…”
Oliver held up his hand in a stop motion. “Fr. Manuel, I appreciate your concern and your insights. I also very much appreciate your offer for me to take off for a few weeks.” Oliver got up from his chair. “I can assure you it is not necessary. I think you are misreading the signs. As a matter of fact, from the minute I stepped into the street, after my ordination, until right now, everything I have experienced or sensed has validated the fact that I must serve God. I have no desire to do anything else. I have no regrets, just the opposite. Our world is being consumed by evil. I feel there is a sense of urgency to reach those who are trapped in sin. I have never been so sure of anything in my entire life.”
Fr. Manuel sat in silence for a moment, then nodded. “Yes, there is a great deal of evil in our world.” He let out a sigh and smiled. “But there is plenty of good in it as well. We just have to look a little more closely.”
“That’s exactly what I plan to do.”
“Well, Fr. Oliver, I guess I’ll stop being an old father hen. I’m glad you feel so strongly about serving the Lord. It goes without saying, should anything come up, I am here for you.”
Oliver nodded. “Thank you, Fr. Manuel. I will take you up on that should something arise. Right now, I’m starved.”
Fr. Manuel chuckled. “Yes, of course.”
Oliver opened the office door, stopped, and looked at the provincial. “Thanks, Fr. Manuel. I think I’ll take a walk to the pizzeria and have a pepperoni pizza.”
***
As I walked to Ray’s Pizza, I prayed for guidance. The night was cool and brisk. As usual, there were people coming and going. I did not bother to take a close look at their faces. A homeless man sifting through a trash can stopped as I walked past him. He rushed toward me. His gnarly grey beard was ladened with bits of crumbs lodged in it. His eyebrows rose and his gaze pierced through me. “You must pretend you don’t see them. It’s the only way to be safe!” He immediately withdrew and began sifting through the trash again.
I approached him. “Excuse me, sir?”
The man stopped his trash can digging and looked at me as he backed away. I held my hand up and smiled. He stopped, squinted his eyes, and smiled, exposing two teeth as he held out the palm of his hand. “Do you have any spare change, sir?” He tilted his head and kept the smile on his face waiting for anything I might be inclined to give.
“What was it you said before?” I asked.
With the smile still on his face, he repeated. “Do you have any spare change, sir?”
“No, before that?”
“Any spare change, sir?” He repeated with the smile still plastered on his face.
I gave him a couple of dollars and continued my walk to Ray’s.
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by Diogenes Ruiz | Apr 12, 2018 | Books, Excerpt, Prequel
The demon picked me up by the throat. I gasped for breath and tried to free myself to no avail. I managed to utter “Go to hell!”
The demon smiled as he held the bloody dagger he had used to kill the provincial in his other hand. “Very well, priest.” The creature thrust the dagger deep into my side.
I felt the sharp sting of the blade as it ripped through my flesh. Then my side began to burn as the energy drained from my body. I felt the demon’s grip tighten around my neck. My vision blurred, then there was darkness.
Fr. Wayne let himself in. “Fr. Manuel wants to see you, Oliver.”
Oliver clutched his side, as he sprang up from his dream and looked at Fr. Wayne.
“Are you OK?”
Oliver wiped the sweat from his brow. “I’m fine. I must have dozed off, just a bad dream. I’ll be there in a few, just want to jump in the shower. I’m sweating like a pig.”
“Good idea,” replied Fr. Wayne. It stinks in here.
Oliver jumped in the shower and felt a sting as the cool water as it touched his scar. He felt the area and noticed the scar which was not there before his nap. It felt tender but was not bleeding. He examined it, almost four inches wide. It was the exact spot the demon had stabbed him during his nightmare. “How can this be? That was just a dream. I didn’t have this before.”
***
Oliver entered the provincial’s office. “Sit down, Oliver,” said Fr. Manuel, as he put a book on a bookcase and walked to take a seat behind his large mahogany desk.”
Oliver sat down and waited for him to take his seat.
As Fr. Manuel was about to sit, he froze, looked at Oliver with a blank expression, eyes opened wide.
Oliver darted up out of his chair.
Fr. Manuel waved his hand, motioning for Oliver to sit back down. “It’s this dammed heartburn. I get it every time I eat pepperoni pizza. It’ll pass in just a moment. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Fr. Manuel noticed Oliver’s pale skin color. “Are you all right, Oliver? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Oliver sat back down. “No. It’s just that I thought you were in real trouble for a moment.”
Fr. Manuel took his seat. “I will be if I keep eating pepperoni pizza.”
“Fr. Wayne said you wanted to see me.”
“Yes, I know today was an important day for you and the church. I just want to see if there is anything you want to discuss. I’ve been there myself. There are occasions of buyer’s remorse among a few newly ordained priest. It is a reality of our calling. You come all the way, to this point, and decide it is not for you after all.” Fr. Manuel paused and studied Oliver. “Is that the case with you?”
Oliver took a deep breath and looked intently at Fr. Manuel. “No, that is not the case with me. This is where I need to be.”
“Are you sure, Oliver? This is not simply about the rest of your life but about the lives you will touch as an ordained priest. Let your truth come forth, whatever that may be. You are still one of God’s precious creations and have his unending love whether or not you follow through with your vows. Do not let human pride or fear stand in your way of acknowledging what you must do. If it sounds like I am trying to convince you to leave the priesthood on the day you became one, that is not the case. I just want what is best for you and the church.”
“I understand, Fr. Manuel. I assure you, I have no regrets or second thoughts about becoming a priest.”
“What happened this afternoon? Your comrades were worried about you, seeing spots and all. It sounds like a severe case of second thoughts to me, enough to make you physically ill. It started the minute you left the church, didn’t it?”
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by Diogenes Ruiz | Apr 11, 2018 | Books, Excerpt, Prequel
I came to a stop and slowly scanned up, across and down the street. It was the same all over. Everyone came to a stop and had turned to look at me. My heart started to pound. As I turned to glance inside the pizzeria, I saw four customers and the guy behind the counter all looking intently at me from behind the store’s glass window. I felt someone poke me on the shoulder and turned quickly. I was not aware of anyone near me.
It was the pizza waiter with the demon head. “I didn’t think any of you god-lovin-fools could see us. Join us or die!” The waiter pointed at the mass of people now huddling around and repeated. “Join us now, or die!” The crowd swelled. There was no place to run. The demon waiter laughed, The crowd chimed in as the laughter began to swell. Beneath it, I could hear whimpering. I looked around and saw a young woman with dark blotches.
She extended her hand. “Help me.”
I could barely hear her. As she repeated it, I could see her lips form the words. Upon closer observation, there were several blotched faces in the crowd all mouthing the same words. Originally, I thought everyone was laughing. They were not. The fully demonic faces were enjoying a raucous laugh. The others seemed to be asking for help.
The demon waiter raised his hand. All became quiet. The cries for help ceased as well. The crowd parted as the three demons from the provincial’s office approached. The one who killed Fr. Manuel came to a stop directly in front of me. “There is no place you can go, no place you can hide. You see us, we see you. Seers like you must either join us or die. You must decide now. What will it be, priest?”
I looked across the landscape of demonic and blotched faces. My gazed settled on the young woman whose hand had been extended. There were tears in her eyes as well as in the eyes of other blotched-faced individuals. I saw her lips move silently to form “Help me.”
What will it be, priest?
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by Diogenes Ruiz | Apr 10, 2018 | Excerpt, Prequel
Fr. Manuel is our provincial in charge of all the new priests. “Sit down, Oliver,” he said, as he put a book on a bookcase and walked to take a seat behind his large mahogany desk.”
I sat down and waited for him to take his seat. As he was about to sit, he froze, looked at me with a blank expression, eyes opened wide. I noticed a knifepoint protruding from the middle of his chest as blood began to drip slowly from its point. I bolted out of my chair and noticed the dark figure standing behind Fr. Manuel. It poked its head out from behind the provincial, smiled, and let the body fall to the ground. As the body fell, the demonic creature pulled the knife out and set it on the desk. It took the provincial’s seat and motioned with its claw-like hand for me to take my seat.
I glanced at the door and noticed two more demonic creatures standing by it. Leaving the room was not an option. I took my seat and looked at the creature sitting before me.
It placed each hand on the desk and leaned forward. “I know you can see us, priest.”
“Who are you?” I asked trying not to let my fear show.
“We are the rightful heirs to this world. The world your god has abandoned. You can end up like him.” It pointed to Fr. Manuel’s body as it picked up the bloody dagger. “Or, you can join us and live a life of pleasure and satisfaction.” As it said this, the demon turned into a naked woman with large breast which it rested on the top of the table. The two demons by the door also turned into nude women: each took a seat beside me. They sat on the edge of their chairs, spread their legs, and extended their arms, inviting me for an extended cuddle.
I bolted out of my seat and ran out of the provincial’s office. On my way, I bumped into Fr. Wayne and Fr. Albert causing Wayne to fall and Albert to be pushed against the wall.
“Oliver! What’s going on?” shouted Fr. Albert.
Once outside, I continued to run. I looked back but did not see any demons pursuing me. “Perhaps I imagined the whole thing.” As I rounded the corner near the pizzeria, I slowed down and settled into a brisk walk, that’s when I noticed everyone on the street looking at me, no one was moving. They either had black blotches on their faces or demonic heads, all were turned in my direction.
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by Diogenes Ruiz | Apr 9, 2018 | Excerpt, Prequel
It was a crisp, clear fall day. The sun was high in the noon-day sky. As I stepped out onto the sidewalk after descending the steps of St. John the Divine in upper Manhattan, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me as they adjusted to the brightness. Passing several people on my way to the friary, I noticed dark blotches on their faces. I rubbed my eyes and dismissed it as my brain’s way of dealing with the transition from low light to the bright outdoors.
Fr. Albert, Fr Ed, and Fr. Wayne were with me. We had taken our vows alongside each other, newly anointed men of God. We walked several blocks to Ray’s Pizza for our celebration lunch. The dark blotches continued to appear. I was getting a little nervous about the persistent problem in my vision.
I turned to my companions as we neared the pizzeria. “Have any of you noticed dark blotches on the faces of some folks?” I signaled by glancing and nodding my head in the direction of the approaching couple. We all looked at the lady and man as they walked past. The couple smiled and so did we in a gesture of greeting. I turned again to my companions. “Well?”
Fr. Ed, shrugged. “I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. They looked like a nice couple.”
I then looked at Fr. Albert and Fr. Wayne. “Did either of you notice anything, dark blotches on the man’s face?
Fr. Albert and Fr. Wayne shook their heads.
“Maybe you are seeing spots, which might indicate an issue with your eyes,” said Fr. Albert.
“Perhaps you’re right. I’m overdue for an eye exam.”
We arrived at the pizzeria and took our seats. As we looked at the menu, a waiter came to our table. “Can I get you something to drink?”
When I looked up from my menu, I recoiled against my seat.
Upon noticing my reaction, Fr. Wayne asked, “Are you all right, Oliver? What’s the matter?”
My eyes were fixed on the waiter’s demonic face. It looked like a cross between a goat and a snake. As I continued to look at it, the demon face turned into a human face, then back to a demon face. It faded in out from demon to human and back. For an instant I felt the same way I did on my fifth birthday when my aunt and uncle came to visit. My uncle did not look like my uncle: he looked like a monster. His demonic face terrified me causing me to freeze with fear. He approached and I backed up against the wall. When he touched my face I went into a semi-comatose state. I remember hearing my mother’s voice in the distance and waking up after my uncle had left. I never felt such fear as that again, until today.
“Any of you notice anything unusual about our waiter?” I asked as I struggled to maintain my composure.
The demon waiter glanced at each of the priest, then looked at me wearing a contorted smile, revealing black gums and yellow teeth.
“Oliver, what’s this all about? I don’t see anything unusual. Are you seeing spots again?” Asked Fr. Wayne.
“Sorry to ruin your lunch. I’m feeling kind of sick. Can we just leave?”
After we arrived at the friary, I went to my room, prayed, took a nap, and awoke to a knock on my door.
Fr. Wayne let himself in. “Fr. Manuel wants to see you.”
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by Diogenes Ruiz | Apr 8, 2018 | Excerpt, Prequel
As I lay on the floor with my forehead pressed against the cold marble, death came upon me. There would be no physical pain in my ritualistic death, only abundant humility as I surrendered my life. After several long silent moments, I slowly arose: my orders, to be fully alive in Christ’s mission. My life as an ordained priest had begun. The sacrament of Holy Orders was complete.
Before joining the priesthood, I loved dating women. I never had any trouble attracting them. My friends used to joke about it and called me the “babe magnet.” I loved to get into fights when a bully targeted someone as fresh meat. I enjoyed doing things other men do, but my desire to join the priesthood slowly grew into an obsession. As far as I can remember, it was just something I wanted to do. I can’t rationalize it or explain it. The more I fought it, dismissed it, or tried to distract myself from the pull of this farfetched calling, the more I became drawn to it. My other great love was Wing Chun kung fu. It started with episodes of the Green Hornet. I didn’t much care for the main character, but his sidekick, Kato, was the star of the show as far as I was concerned. He was a kind of crazy social justice hero. My love for the fighting arts has managed to coexist with my obsession for the priesthood.
Eventually, I gave in and applied to join the order of Franciscan friars. I guess it was my interest in St. Francis of Assisi which started to eat away at my longing to be a regular guy. The more I learned about this man, the more I was fascinated with the choices he made and how he lived his life. If he were alive today, we would think he was crazy, a mentally ill bum on the street with no possessions, yet he would lack for nothing. By today’s standards Francis was a loon, trading a life as a playboy for a life of poverty and complete surrender to Christ. No doubt he would be heavily medicated by well-meaning health professionals.
Second thoughts? I had my share at first. Without much of a father figure in my life, and my two main role models being Kato and St. Francis of Assisi, I did have a few doubts about my purpose on this planet. Eventually, that gave way to resolution and peace in knowing the path of faith I had chosen to follow. It would start in earnest after receiving the Bishop’s blessing at the end of the ordination ceremony. The only problem: the type of priesthood I thought I chose was not the type of priesthood chosen for me. I would start to suspect something was wrong the moment I stepped out of the church as a fully ordained priest.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NOCVRL2
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