“I think it is time for an eye exam. I’m not seeing spots anymore, perhaps a bit of nervous energy after ordination. But I assure you, I’m fine.”
The provincial nodded. “Let me ask you this Oliver. Would you like to take a few weeks off to think about this and clear your head? I think it would be…”
Oliver held up his hand in a stop motion. “Fr. Manuel, I appreciate your concern and your insights. I also very much appreciate your offer for me to take off for a few weeks.” Oliver got up from his chair. “I can assure you it is not necessary. I think you are misreading the signs. As a matter of fact, from the minute I stepped into the street, after my ordination, until right now, everything I have experienced or sensed has validated the fact that I must serve God. I have no desire to do anything else. I have no regrets, just the opposite. Our world is being consumed by evil. I feel there is a sense of urgency to reach those who are trapped in sin. I have never been so sure of anything in my entire life.”
Fr. Manuel sat in silence for a moment, then nodded. “Yes, there is a great deal of evil in our world.” He let out a sigh and smiled. “But there is plenty of good in it as well. We just have to look a little more closely.”
“That’s exactly what I plan to do.”
“Well, Fr. Oliver, I guess I’ll stop being an old father hen. I’m glad you feel so strongly about serving the Lord. It goes without saying, should anything come up, I am here for you.”
Oliver nodded. “Thank you, Fr. Manuel. I will take you up on that should something arise. Right now, I’m starved.”
Fr. Manuel chuckled. “Yes, of course.”
Oliver opened the office door, stopped, and looked at the provincial. “Thanks, Fr. Manuel. I think I’ll take a walk to the pizzeria and have a pepperoni pizza.”
***
As I walked to Ray’s Pizza, I prayed for guidance. The night was cool and brisk. As usual, there were people coming and going. I did not bother to take a close look at their faces. A homeless man sifting through a trash can stopped as I walked past him. He rushed toward me. His gnarly grey beard was ladened with bits of crumbs lodged in it. His eyebrows rose and his gaze pierced through me. “You must pretend you don’t see them. It’s the only way to be safe!” He immediately withdrew and began sifting through the trash again.
I approached him. “Excuse me, sir?”
The man stopped his trash can digging and looked at me as he backed away. I held my hand up and smiled. He stopped, squinted his eyes, and smiled, exposing two teeth as he held out the palm of his hand. “Do you have any spare change, sir?” He tilted his head and kept the smile on his face waiting for anything I might be inclined to give.
“What was it you said before?” I asked.
With the smile still on his face, he repeated. “Do you have any spare change, sir?”
“No, before that?”
“Any spare change, sir?” He repeated with the smile still plastered on his face.
I gave him a couple of dollars and continued my walk to Ray’s.