As I lay on the floor with my forehead pressed against the cold marble, death came upon me. There would be no physical pain in my ritualistic death, only abundant humility as I surrendered my life. After several long silent moments, I slowly arose: my orders, to be fully alive in Christ’s mission. My life as an ordained priest had begun. The sacrament of Holy Orders was complete.
Before joining the priesthood, I loved dating women. I never had any trouble attracting them. My friends used to joke about it and called me the “babe magnet.” I loved to get into fights when a bully targeted someone as fresh meat. I enjoyed doing things other men do, but my desire to join the priesthood slowly grew into an obsession. As far as I can remember, it was just something I wanted to do. I can’t rationalize it or explain it. The more I fought it, dismissed it, or tried to distract myself from the pull of this farfetched calling, the more I became drawn to it. My other great love was Wing Chun kung fu. It started with episodes of the Green Hornet. I didn’t much care for the main character, but his sidekick, Kato, was the star of the show as far as I was concerned. He was a kind of crazy social justice hero. My love for the fighting arts has managed to coexist with my obsession for the priesthood.
Eventually, I gave in and applied to join the order of Franciscan friars. I guess it was my interest in St. Francis of Assisi which started to eat away at my longing to be a regular guy. The more I learned about this man, the more I was fascinated with the choices he made and how he lived his life. If he were alive today, we would think he was crazy, a mentally ill bum on the street with no possessions, yet he would lack for nothing. By today’s standards Francis was a loon, trading a life as a playboy for a life of poverty and complete surrender to Christ. No doubt he would be heavily medicated by well-meaning health professionals.
Second thoughts? I had my share at first. Without much of a father figure in my life, and my two main role models being Kato and St. Francis of Assisi, I did have a few doubts about my purpose on this planet. Eventually, that gave way to resolution and peace in knowing the path of faith I had chosen to follow. It would start in earnest after receiving the Bishop’s blessing at the end of the ordination ceremony. The only problem: the type of priesthood I thought I chose was not the type of priesthood chosen for me. I would start to suspect something was wrong the moment I stepped out of the church as a fully ordained priest.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NOCVRL2
You must be logged in to post a comment.